The count down is on !!! I will be leaving for Guide Dogs For The Blind in Portland Oregon in 29 days. I am beyond excited. This is going to be life changing for me in a good way finally.
Truth be told I am absolutely terrified. Not of getting a dog and having a new partner in crime. But of the travelling there. I have been losing enormous amounts of sleep over this already. I have never flown into the U.S.A, so I have never had to experience going through customs or the huge airports and all the unknown and for me it is the unknown that scares the crap out of me. It is so terrifying to be in a unfamiliar place alone without the ability to see what is going on around you and asses your surroundings. Am I safe, is that person a little shady coming towards me. None of that is available to me. I feel like I am at the mercy of people around me. And we would all like to think that people are great, and some are but there are many out there that are not so great and not the people I want to be around.
Being in a unfamiliar place for the sighted is fine you may not know exactly where you are going but there are usually signs that will give you some sort of hint. For example you have arrived at a new air port and have a 2 hour layover. You get to your gate and are sitting for a while and start to think hmmm I really need to pee, so you get up and go wandering looking for that sign that says Washroom or you can find a employee and ask them for some general directions, they will generally point and say over there next to the coffee shop or something general like that. Now ... close your eyes ! and go through the same process and try to eventually end up at a washroom. Good Luck ! you will need it. And god forbid in that same time you kind of want a coffee, because the first adventure will give you ample reason to not want to leave your seat again.
Everyone tells me I will be fine and to ask for help, but what I wouldn't give to see that little stick woman in a dress to be able to find the bathroom on my own. It sometimes can feel degrading to have to ask for assistance to find the washroom and have someone wait for you to show you back to your seat. I am not 3 and hate having to do things like this that a 3 year old has to do.
Friday, 1 August 2014
Monday, 21 July 2014
Legally Blind moving on : Cane Troubles
Legally Blind moving on : Cane Troubles: We have been doing a bit of camping (when the weather cooperates), and some golfing with the kids. There things are all complicated with a c...
Cane Troubles
We have been doing a bit of camping (when the weather cooperates), and some golfing with the kids. There things are all complicated with a cane. My Cane is well useless in wide open spaces like a golf course or campground. I need something to be able to give me a hint to where I am like a curb, power poles, fences, and such but in a golf course there is well grass ! I like walking with the kids and my husband while they golf but sometimes they forget about me and I then have to try to figure out where they have walked to, this can be very frustrating and embarrassing. The other day we were walking through a parking lot going to a grocery store we don't normally go to and my husband and kids walked away from me and I got so frustrated, I could not figure out where they were and then got very nervous because in a parking lot you can hear many cars coming and going but again it is a wide open space and it is hard to get your bearings when you can't see where the cars are coming or going from. In those situations I kick myself for saying I want my independence because in those times I need some assistance. And I hate to admit that at any time.
Sidewalks are something that people take for granted, in the community I live in there is only sidewalks on the main street. This is great for those that drive and can see where they are going and horrible for someone who can't see where they are going. I have about had enough of walking into vehicles parked on the streets, trailers, campers and other things left on the side of the road as well. And not to mention recycling pick up day, every 10 feet you walk into a bin and you about want to scream ! And not to mention when I have to walk around these things I am walking out into the road and I may not hear a vehicle coming so I am possibly putting myself in danger and I hate it. It is one of my biggest pet peeves I just want to be able to walk up town and get the mail and not have any anxiety about having to run ion things like vehicles and garbage bins. Not to mention it is embarrassing.
With every one of these incidents I am reassured that the day I get my guide dog (39 days, but who's counting) will be a life changing day for me.
Sidewalks are something that people take for granted, in the community I live in there is only sidewalks on the main street. This is great for those that drive and can see where they are going and horrible for someone who can't see where they are going. I have about had enough of walking into vehicles parked on the streets, trailers, campers and other things left on the side of the road as well. And not to mention recycling pick up day, every 10 feet you walk into a bin and you about want to scream ! And not to mention when I have to walk around these things I am walking out into the road and I may not hear a vehicle coming so I am possibly putting myself in danger and I hate it. It is one of my biggest pet peeves I just want to be able to walk up town and get the mail and not have any anxiety about having to run ion things like vehicles and garbage bins. Not to mention it is embarrassing.
With every one of these incidents I am reassured that the day I get my guide dog (39 days, but who's counting) will be a life changing day for me.
Monday, 7 July 2014
Time flies !
Summer seems to be flying by, the kids are already saying they are bored. But the time seems to be flying by we are just getting back into our normal routine now that my husband has gone back to work, I love having him home but it is nice when he goes back to work, I like my routine.
The kids have been spending a lot of time at the pool, they love spending time at the pool and keeping cool. They always describe to me what they have been up to at the pool, I think in their own way they understand how I miss being able to see them and what they are doing. I know I can experience it in other ways but deep down I still miss those things like seeing them jump off the diving board and doing cannon balls, but they do a good job of painting quite the picture.
I am in the process of deciding where my life is going to go, now that I am not working. I still feel like I need to have purpose, but I want to be able to spend as much time with the kids as I can. Life is to short. I think I am going to look into doing some volunteer stuff. I really want to help other people who are experiencing vision loss or whom are new to vision loss. I was lucky enough to prepare for this my whole life but some don't have that option or luxury.
I am off to get my guide dog in 8 weeks (but who's counting) I am very excited about this new adventure in life. I can't wait to see how this will improve my life and my mobility. I am hoping to be able to keep track of my experience while in Oregon receiving my guide dog and doing the training either with this blog or maybe with a video diary. But I am defiantly getting anxious and excited to go.
Everyday is a adventure , so here's to making the best of those adventures, and enjoying life to the fullest.
Sunday, 29 June 2014
Back at it !
We are back from our short vacation, we had a great time, and kept quite busy. The kids had a blast water sliding and going to the zoo and shopping.
I enjoyed our vacation but I still have a hard time going somewhere new, it is stressful and then I seem to be a little more on edge and anxious the whole time I am there. I know that the only way around this is to keep doing it and getting over it and increasing that confidence I have in myself.
On our vacation we did some shopping and I had some not so good experiences. I want to share this experience with everyone so that they understand the frustration and they can either help if they are the person I would be relying on or know you are not alone in the frustrations if you are visually impaired. So I went into Victoria Secret with my daughter who is 10, (my husband and sons did not want to come ) I got my daughter to locate a store employee and I asked her if she could please assist me in finding what I was looking for. She said oh yes and seemed as though she was willing to help, so I explained I wanted a certain bra and the size that I would need. She says to me follow me ( my daughter laughed and lead me behind her to where she was going in the store ) she then opened a drawer and said here you go there are a few different colours. I asked her are they all the size that I am needing she says oh yes and walks away. So my daughter helped me pick out the colours and away we went to the till. I thought even though she wasn't super helpful I got the job done. But oh no that was too easy. The next day I went to try on the bras to make sure and they didn't fit at all, I thought this is weird I always buy the same bra in the same size and things have not changed so I had my husband check the size and to my surprise they were not the size I asked for in fact neither of them were the same size at all. Back to the store I go and explain to the lady that I had asked for a size and this is what I got and they are not the size at all. Finally I had my husband check the sizes before leaving to make sure I was leaving with the right ones this time.
This may seem like a petty thing to a sighted person but to me it is a huge deal, I have to rely on peoples honesty every day, when I ask for something it is not because I want to be a pain in the ass it is because I truly need your help or I would not be asking. Things like this always dampen my faith that people are doing or giving you what they say, and if I can't trust that people are doing or giving me what they say that takes away my independence because I then have to take someone with me just so I don't need to rely on those in stores and other public places.
Not all people are bad some will help and give you what you have asked for but it sure is frustrating how many times it does happen that that is not the case.
I enjoyed our vacation but I still have a hard time going somewhere new, it is stressful and then I seem to be a little more on edge and anxious the whole time I am there. I know that the only way around this is to keep doing it and getting over it and increasing that confidence I have in myself.
On our vacation we did some shopping and I had some not so good experiences. I want to share this experience with everyone so that they understand the frustration and they can either help if they are the person I would be relying on or know you are not alone in the frustrations if you are visually impaired. So I went into Victoria Secret with my daughter who is 10, (my husband and sons did not want to come ) I got my daughter to locate a store employee and I asked her if she could please assist me in finding what I was looking for. She said oh yes and seemed as though she was willing to help, so I explained I wanted a certain bra and the size that I would need. She says to me follow me ( my daughter laughed and lead me behind her to where she was going in the store ) she then opened a drawer and said here you go there are a few different colours. I asked her are they all the size that I am needing she says oh yes and walks away. So my daughter helped me pick out the colours and away we went to the till. I thought even though she wasn't super helpful I got the job done. But oh no that was too easy. The next day I went to try on the bras to make sure and they didn't fit at all, I thought this is weird I always buy the same bra in the same size and things have not changed so I had my husband check the size and to my surprise they were not the size I asked for in fact neither of them were the same size at all. Back to the store I go and explain to the lady that I had asked for a size and this is what I got and they are not the size at all. Finally I had my husband check the sizes before leaving to make sure I was leaving with the right ones this time.
This may seem like a petty thing to a sighted person but to me it is a huge deal, I have to rely on peoples honesty every day, when I ask for something it is not because I want to be a pain in the ass it is because I truly need your help or I would not be asking. Things like this always dampen my faith that people are doing or giving you what they say, and if I can't trust that people are doing or giving me what they say that takes away my independence because I then have to take someone with me just so I don't need to rely on those in stores and other public places.
Not all people are bad some will help and give you what you have asked for but it sure is frustrating how many times it does happen that that is not the case.
Tuesday, 24 June 2014
New way to Vacation
This summer we are going to be doing many things that we do every year, camping, going for walks, having fire works at the farm with the family, going to the beach, etc.. All the stuff lots of families do and we are also going on a little 3 day trip to the U.S.A. And doing things like going to the zoo and water sliding and so on. Why is this relevant you ask ? Well the reason I tell you these things is because now that my vision has gotten much much worse, I need to experience these things in a much different way.
It can be easy to want to just avoid doing these things since it can make you feel sorry for yourself or wish things were back to the way they were. But it is important to me that my kids don't miss out on anything. I always need to remind myself that I can still experience all these things just differently.
My kids have been great, they are so understanding and loving. They will always take the time to describe something even without me asking.
Hearing my kids giggle and laugh while we do family outings, and listening to them tell stories while we sit at the campfire and enjoying the smell and sound of the campfire are all ways that I will have a great summer with my kids.
I am hoping that others that have to deal with the effects of vision loss are able to remember to experience life to the fullest and never give up.
It can be easy to want to just avoid doing these things since it can make you feel sorry for yourself or wish things were back to the way they were. But it is important to me that my kids don't miss out on anything. I always need to remind myself that I can still experience all these things just differently.
My kids have been great, they are so understanding and loving. They will always take the time to describe something even without me asking.
Hearing my kids giggle and laugh while we do family outings, and listening to them tell stories while we sit at the campfire and enjoying the smell and sound of the campfire are all ways that I will have a great summer with my kids.
I am hoping that others that have to deal with the effects of vision loss are able to remember to experience life to the fullest and never give up.
Saturday, 14 June 2014
Accepted !!!!!
I began the process of applying for a guide dog in February 2014. It has been a very long process with papers to be filled out, doctor reports, eye reports, phone interview, home interview and a review by the board. I was ecstatic on Friday June 13th 2014 and got the phone call I have been waiting for. I have been accepted into the Oregon Campus of GDB (Guide Dogs for the Blind). I was beyond happy and excited I felt like a little kid on Christmas morning. I got a date that I will be going into class for a two week period to get and train with my new guide dog. I leave for Oregon on August 31st returning on my sons 7th birthday September 13th.
It is going to be hard to wait some more for the next 11 weeks but at least I know that the waiting will come to a end on August 31st.
People may wonder why I am getting a guide dog as I am not Completely Blind but it is defiantly a miss conception that you must be completely blind. You just have to be legally blind which is visual acuity of 20/200 or less than 20% visual field. I defiantly am passed the legally blind requirement by quite a bit.
Getting a guide dog is going to do so much for my self esteem and confidence when travelling alone. I have a great deal of anxiety when walking even in familiar areas. I have a fear of getting hit by a car or missing a major obstacle and being injured or simply walking into the street and not knowing it. And I like to walk fast but I can not do that now as I have to be very careful not to miss things with my cane . I am also sick of getting jabbed in the gut when my cane gets stuck in a crack on the sidewalk or road. To have that confidence and independence back will be a huge thing for me. I am excited to not be so self conscious ( I hate the stigma that comes with using a white cane) and confidence to go to new places and not worry so much because I will have a guide dog and not be alone I will have a partner in crime so to say.
I will defiantly be keeping up my blog while I am away for training. As well as for the summer while I wait !
Until next time !
It is going to be hard to wait some more for the next 11 weeks but at least I know that the waiting will come to a end on August 31st.
People may wonder why I am getting a guide dog as I am not Completely Blind but it is defiantly a miss conception that you must be completely blind. You just have to be legally blind which is visual acuity of 20/200 or less than 20% visual field. I defiantly am passed the legally blind requirement by quite a bit.
Getting a guide dog is going to do so much for my self esteem and confidence when travelling alone. I have a great deal of anxiety when walking even in familiar areas. I have a fear of getting hit by a car or missing a major obstacle and being injured or simply walking into the street and not knowing it. And I like to walk fast but I can not do that now as I have to be very careful not to miss things with my cane . I am also sick of getting jabbed in the gut when my cane gets stuck in a crack on the sidewalk or road. To have that confidence and independence back will be a huge thing for me. I am excited to not be so self conscious ( I hate the stigma that comes with using a white cane) and confidence to go to new places and not worry so much because I will have a guide dog and not be alone I will have a partner in crime so to say.
I will defiantly be keeping up my blog while I am away for training. As well as for the summer while I wait !
Until next time !
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